Look at my food

I want to preface this by saying this has been a long time coming. I've been so super busy lately and haven't had time to post anything but I just want to take a moment today and thank all of you who have been liking and commenting on my pictures of food and drinks.

This morning, I posted a picture of my breakfast and by 11:00, I already had 11 likes and 6 comments. Jamison Pezdek commented "yummy!!" and Mike Kinton wrote, "OMG, I love cream cheese. Is that Philadephia?"I was so overwhelmed by your support that I welled up a little. I did. It's just so amazing to know that I have so many good friends who care about the stuff I put in my mouth.

Every day, I look at my newsfeed and all I see is self-aggrandizing bullshit. Look at my baby. Let me tell you how happy I am in my relationship. Read this important article. I'm listening to The Jonas Brothers on Spotify. Oooooh, you're getting married? Nobody cares. Post something selfless. Post something everybody cares about. Post something real and worthwhile. Post a picture of your food. Try it. It feels good and it will be well received.


Are you eating? Tell everybody about it. And, take a picture. Who are you with? Where are you? The internet wants to know. Did you make it yourself? I'd certainly appreciate a picture. And and and, if you didn't already, next time, post pictures along the way. I want to see the raw ingredients. I want to see your awesome fucking dinner being made in real time. It's easy, you'll get the hang of it in no time. I promise.

To help you get started, let me give you a few tips:

• If you're drinking a beer, try to capture the sunlight shining through the glass with a low angle. It'll give that bottle or pint glass a really wonderful aura and it'll make everyone super jealous of that Coors Banquet you're drinking.
• You can really spice up a cheap meal with an Instagram filter. Next time you're about to drive a hamburger or corn dog into your gut, turn on the sepia filter and snap a pic. Everyone on the internet appreciates a rustic looking BBQ scene. Everybody.
• Don't just take a picture of your plate. Think of your food pictures as still lifes. Take some time to arrange those wine bottles, fruit bowls and salt and pepper shakers in the background.  
• Don't forget that you can take pictures when you're done with your meal. People will definitely want to see that empty plate.  
• Add a description. You might know what's in that Starbucks cup but I don't. Is it a grande caffee latte or is it a vanilla chai? Tell me. I need to know. Show a little fucking enthusiasm while you're at it, please. A few dozen exclamation points never hurt.
• Get a goddamn SLR camera already.

I think you're really going to like posting pictures of your food. Honestly. Try it. I'll surely be there to like your pics and support you along the way.

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