I'm a man of action. I have little patience for anything, ESPECIALLY waiting. I don't like waiting for anything. I don't like waiting in lines, I don't like waiting on hold, and I sure as shit don't like waiting to eat pudding. Thankfully, the good Lord has mercifully bestowed upon us Instant Pudding; a delicious treat that requires no brain activity at all, so you can concentrate on all sorts of more important things.
"But why not just buy snack packs?" you ask, in a whining tone. This is a very valid question; Snack packs are both delectable and exquisite, but let me ask you this: have you ever faced an entire bowl of snack pack pudding? Let's face it; it's just not economical to sit and eat like 24 snack packs in one sitting. This is where Instant Pudding is the right choice. Sometimes you just want to eat 4 lbs of chocolate-gelatin-milk without opening little packages every 3 seconds. Also, the snacker can face severe and occasionally life-threatening tongue-related injuries from licking too many snack pack foil tops. Indeed, snack packs are more appropriate in moderation and for getting that pudding fix on the go.
Anyway, here's how you make a huge bowl of luscious, rich, Instant Pudding:
Step 1: Reach way the fuck back into your pantry/cabinet unit, past the never-opened corn starch and the opened-all-too-long-ago cashews and grab that little box. Verify you've grabbed Instant Pudding and not Raid Ant Traps. Good job.
Step 2: Pour that dust into a big bowl. Make sure you inhale the fine powder deeply to prep your body for the deliciousness it will soon receive.
Step 3: Add a variable amount of cold milk. It says exactly how much to add on the package, but fuck it, it'll probably come out awesome no matter what.
Step 4: Throw that shit in the fridge and do something else for about 20 minutes. This is the most difficult step for most. What do you for 20 minutes? Well, fortunately, this is just enough time to get about 3 or 4 Super Smash Bros. games under your belt. Isn't that great?
Step 5: Eat that pudding, mother fucker.
Now you know all of my pudding-related secrets, or at least most of them. Remember: sharing is for pussies.
i recently tried a late night single snack pack pudding attack and got really frustrated after number 3. The pile of containers and peeled back lids in the morning was a pretty good indication of the night before. -should have gone instant.
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