Everybody eats. Everybody. So what can be so great about something that everyone does? Nothing, obviously. You've always prided yourself on your individuality, so here's a little insider tip on how to maintain it: When eating inevitably becomes a rote affair that renders you a worthless and trite sheep, do as I do: relinquish your will to hunger suppressing drugs.It is every man's desire to eat, but must we always succumb to that foolishness? Of course not! And you shouldn't. If you think about it, even food well suited to this blog demands far too much effort, EZ-Mac and Stouffer's Beer Battered Chicken included. You probably miss the good old days when you were fed through a tube in your stomach, the days when you could lounge in the water all day. What self-respecting man, I ask you, would compromise his dignity by chewing? We want masturbation, not mastication! So, why not take a walk to the Spanish market on the corner and ask for what life is really all about? A bottle of Jack Daniels and a carton of Unfiltered Camel Cigarettes.
Also, fasting is a religious experience. So it's dually good.
brilliant.
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