Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Strange Russian Herring Dish - "Shuba"
Now, my writing is often laced with sarcasm, but this is all more or less true.
I consider myself an excavator of strange dishes, an exploratory diner, if you will. So when I discovered this particularly strange little dish on a venture to Brooklyn, I abruptly exclaimed, "This excavation is supporting evidence for the claim that I am excavator of strange dishes. Alas, I am truth sayer. Alas, I am all that is man." And as all that is man, as any man who can claim unerringly to be all that is man, I've little desire to know the "recipe" of any dish, let alone one as unpalatable as this one. So if you're looking for the recipe, I'd suggest you find a more fertile section of the internet, one showing better promise to yield the harvest which you seek. It is true, I know virtually nothing about this dish, except that it contains herring, and is neon pink, a color generally better suited for stuffed animals than food. The taste... is truly revolting, but if you want to be like me--you probably don't, but I will proceed assuming the off-chance that you do--you will wish to claim the title "excavator of strange dishes". So if you want to try Shuba (pray child, change your mind if you do) then you must follow my instructions to the letter. Step one: Meet a girl on the internet with a Russian family in Brooklyn. Step Two: Go to the birthday party her family is throwing for her. Step Three: Immersed in a strange circumstance where you understand not one word being exchanged, eat Shuba. Step Four: Stifle urge to vomit then smile at crazy mother. Step Five: Go Home. Step six: Receive phone call from internet girl informing you that she is moving to a small country you've never heard of before and has changed her name to Pantera because she thinks she's a panther now and she much prefers her other suitor who is a sorceror and a wolf. Step Seven: Be informed by her that a fortune teller has foreseen your death which is soon to come. Internet girl believes that this information can save your life, but she would have withheld this information from you if you did not apologize to her. ... Psh, women. Step Eight: You realize that internet girl, in her own mind, would have let you die if you did not praise her, even though you were pretty damn nice and all the whole time.
Step Nine: Spend a fortnight questioning your judgement.
Step Ten: See Wade Boggs Fried Chicken.
HAVE A SUPA SHUBA DAY, Bros!
Labels:
Almost Left for Dead,
Fortune Tellers,
Herring,
Internet Dating,
Pink Food,
Shuba
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Ha-ha, tastes differ))) In my family (in Russia) everyone adores "selyodka pod shuboi", except my husband who hates the combination of herring, vegetables and mayonesse. My cousin likes the "shuba" itself more than the herring, which means he likes vegetables with mayonesse and doesn't like fish very much. I like the whole dish - its taste is unusual indeed, but I like it. Why don't you want to know what ingredients it is made of? If one knows about the ingredients, one doesn't have to panic.))) I heard about an American who enjoyed a tasty dish in a Cinese restaurant, but vomited when he was told it was dog's meat. )) "Selyodka pod Shuboi" is made of carrots, beets, potatoes, onion and herring (sometimes they add eggs, but I don't). As you can see - nothing extraordinary. By the way, I hated chocolates when a child, later my taste changed.
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